save_theworld | IC Inbox

[After Wade got them home and they rested, Chara had taken a shower. Scrubbed at their skin until it was raw and stung and it wasn't enough. Never enough. Dust can't come off, just like flower seeds. It just clings to you.

But they do have to agree that Wade seemed nice. He didn't ask questions and simply acted. Not quite an exception to the rule that Frisk was when it came to humans, but a sliver sometimes was better than nothing at all.

Chara walks into the room, closing the door quietly behind them. They'll open it again if Frisk wants them too....but at the same time Chara doesn't think they will. The Fallen Child has the folder in one hand, although the photo belonging to it was elsewhere.

But they'll get to that later.]

I'm...how are you?

[They know the answer but it's the polite thing to ask. Maybe.]

[How are you, Chara asks. To get the ball rolling. They both know they aren't great; could be better. Could be a lot better, could be with the people they want to be with right now, except they aren't. It's hard to be with people who are dead.

They don't bother trying to smile. Chara won't mind.]

...Not okay. But I will be.

[They always are in the end, right?]

You?

[It's a formality, they know. Neither of them are 'okay' by any stretch of the word. Just...their 'okay'. Frisk and Chara's okay.

...'time heals all wounds' is a complete and utter lie, isn't it?

Chara doesn't mind the lack of a smile. It was second nature for them to smile, sometimes out of spite, but they can't do it either. Something hurts if they try.]

I am healing.

[They keep it like that because it isn't a lie. What was broken was mending, what was cut was closing. But their LOVE is still fluctuating and higher than they've ever seen...even if that is just in their own head. Who knows if it shows up on the stats screen.

Chara takes a deep breath. The ball is rolling, so keep it rolling. The file is in their hands and they have extra, blank paper stuffed into it and pencils in their pockets. The world didn't collapse into itself alone, Chara's double told them. You have to make an effort.

Funny, how the part of them obtained that exact thing from someone who normally didn't. Did and died.

Breathe.]

I have not yet finished looking through this as it is...difficult for me to read. And since you are learning to read code, I was wondering if you would like to look too. I brought paper and pencils.

[Chara knows they aren't going to keep this. They weren't about to chuck it out the window but Sans might take issue with them holding onto it. So...time to copy and paste, right Partner?]

[Everybody says time heals everything- but.

What of the endless in-between? Are they just supposed to...wait it out? That's the problem, with children like them. They can't. When given the option to ACT, they will always, always do so.

Chara is healing. Frisk isn't okay. But they will be. It's just the way things are, when time heals everything, and nothing at all.]

...I still have the ones I found.

[In their bedside table. Never gave them back, after showing Chara they had them. Feels like too little, too late, now. Part of Sans wants them to have this. Or maybe they just want to think so.]

We can look together.

[And...do something nice, together. Right?]

[Those moments when the option to ACT didn't appear was like free-falling towards might be life/might be death. And when the only option was to sit there and do nothing? That was worse because there was nothing.

Nothing but time. But they could take it and do something good.]

We can.

[A pointless confirmation but Chara feels a little better for saying it. They move to sit on the edge of the bed, not willing to take up anymore space than what they needed. Slides over a blank sheet of paper and a pencil towards Frisk before placing the file on the bed.

Takes a deep breath and flicks it open. And here we are.]

Edited 2017-02-05 07:20 (UTC)

[Frisk's first thought, prior to the folder being opened, is that this might take them a while. Once they see it, however, they change their mind.

This could take forever.

It's not the writing itself that's the problem. Some pages are neat; some not so much. The size of the penmanship changes, sometimes; from neat to hasty, tiny little marks in margins and sections that have been written on their side, crammed into the remaining space. Charts that make no sense, and peering at them for too long makes Frisk's stomach churn.

There's something really unsettling about these pages.

But they take a deep breath, putting pencil to paper. If they look at it, symbol by symbol, word by word, it's not as bad. It's not so bad, and if they keep looking, they'll find something in the library to help. They can figure this out together.]

...What do you think it says?

[Chara's hands curl into the blanket as they stare into the void file's pages. The writing swims and they have to take a deep breath in an effort to not lose themselves again.

They reach down and trace a few of the symbols. Frisk is right, the handwriting changes often, to the point Chara wonders if there was more than one author. The file had been in Sans's possession before his double

...before. But it makes Chara wonder who actually wrote the thing. They pick up a pencil and follow Frisk's lead. Bit by bit. Don't look at the whole thing. Don't have to wake up that man so soon.]

I...am not sure. But do you mind if I ask you a question Frisk?

[Because maybe during their runs, something...weird may have happened. Maybe.]

[Of course they don't mind. But they make that clear enough, as they lay their pencil flat against the page. Look up attentively, watch Chara's expression. No multi-tasking. They know that this is important.

Chara wants to ask them something. That alone is important.]

[Chara stops what they are doing as well, laying the pencil down. It's...hard to put into words what they want to ask and pause for a good few minutes.

Feels like...ahahah, feels like stepping into an inky black nothingness. When they speak Chara more or less just blurts out what they need to say.]

I...may have met the author of these notes. When all those people arrived. More so than usual, I mean. But I wish to ask...Frisk, during our runs did you ever speak to...something and not really remember it?

[Chara remembers something, but it feels like there's a block. Maybe it was due to their duel nature and that Chara could no longer narrate for Frisk like they used to. Or maybe it was something else entirely. But they want to know.

Have to.]

[They wait patiently, as always. Some things are hard. Some things even Chara has trouble formulating, a constant slew of silence in the wake of a fight with Toriel; knows what's best for you. Silence, towards the things that hurt them. Silence, towards what makes Chara upset.

The words tumble out, and Frisk understands why they had so much difficulty. Their own brow creases as they think about it, expression slowly becoming troubled, the longer they do.

They're not supposed to think about this anymore.]

...Maybe.

Yes.

[If one looked hard enough and listened, they could find things that scared and upset Chara. Touch, family, and silence upon silence. Silence was good at times but awful otherwise because it could mean anything--

They regret asking. Chara regrets asking because it answers what they said back when they first ever saw those pages and It's rude to interrupt someone's conversation. But you know that, don't you? because it made them remember the conversations that may or may not have happened.

Because they can remember some words.]

I understand why Asgore waited so long to hire a new royal scientist. The previous one...ahahaha!

[They can't say it! They can't say that person's name!]

[Don't think about this anymore. It's rude to talk about someone who's listening.

They didn't remember. Why didn't they remember? Chara laughs, and they watch, chewing on their lower lip, not pulling Chara away from their unsettled reaction, because they're unsettled as well. The previous one...

Something happened. Something happened.

He doesn't exist.]

Do you think- could his notes, maybe-

[A pause. There's a building disbelief, a sense that no, it can't possibly be that easy. But Sans died, and he threw the folder, and told them- do something nice for once. Something everyone could appreciate.

Imagine, a world where everything is the same, but no one has to deal with you anymore.]

...Chara, could we-

Disappear?

[Chara has to shove everything back under the surface, giggling until it was over. They were right. They were right.

There had been things there that they talked to and Chara doesn't know why they had less than half a memory of it while Frisk seemed to have none. Who was the previous scientist before Alphys. It rhymed with something. What. What?

You shouldn't gossip about someone who was listening.

What if you don't give a damn, hun?]

Ahahah. Yup!

[The utter lack of anything before Chara was frightening but it gave them an out. A world where everyone was free. That's what you were asking for, wasn't it Sans?]

We could. 'They say he shattered across time and space.' We could just disappear.

I want that.

I want to disappear.

[It's a disaster.

And yet there's a strange sense of calm, that comes with it. After so long of not knowing what to do, the idea, the concept- they can discover how to disappear, they can do it, and there's no coming back from that- it brings what they can only think of as 'glad'. They're glad, that they know what they can do now. They're glad, that there's still a way to fix things.

They're glad. If they disappear, then no one has to worry about them again. No one has to die for them again.

Chara doesn't have to be scared of them again.

Hands settle in their lap. They look, and feel, calm.

They can do something nice, for once.]

...Does that make me a bad person?

[Once everything has been shoved down into a neat and tidy box can Chara feel that strange sort of calm. They could do it. They could both disappear together.

Chara would deny that Frisk scares them. Scared for them because Sans's double could have easily killed them if he wanted to kick Chara when they were down or that another event could force them to kill Chara again and increase their LOVE. And they both now knew what happens once that's broken.

But...if they're gone, they don't have to worry about hurting anyone else. It...it will be fine.

=)

Chara puts a hand forward on the bed for Frisk to take if they want. And they're smiling peacefully.]

It does not, Frisk. We could disappear together.

[Wishes were awful but the miles were long. And sometimes you'd pay to see them shortened.

And so here we are.]

[Should they feel bad, for this? Do they think everybody here will up and let this happen, just like that?

You think Chara would be all right, havin' another Frisk there without knowin' what happened to their Partner?

Should they feel bad, that Chara wants this too? Maybe. A part of them does. But another part of them...thinks that perhaps this is for the best. Then there's nothing to worry about. Chara will never have to think about that, if their Partner is there with them for one, last Fall.

They smile, and it's so very, very easy. Take the hand offered, rub their thumb gently over Chara's knuckles.]

We can't tell anyone.

IC Inbox | Hadriel

is it hot chocolate?

yes uwu would u like sip?

yes please! :D

-gives you the whole cup- <3

Excellent :D

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